Roadtrip of Doom!
by MzViolet
Summary: Tart plus bumpy highway equals messed up seats. Completed.
1. A Prologue of sorts

Chocolate Pudding-chan: New story! WHEE! Okay, this chapter in incredibly short, (Explained at the bottom) so just think of it as a prologue for chaos to come!

Disclaimer: Chocolate Pudding-chan doesn't own TMM, or any other real-world references she mentions in this story.

* * *

Kish stared out the window nervously. "_This was a stupid idea…"_He thought.

He looked at Pai, who was sitting next to him. "Pai, I'm not so sure about this, why can't we just teleport, why do we have to drive?!"

"Yeah! And why do I have to sit in the back seat?!" Tart complained from behind them.

"Okay, first, we have to drive because we're undercover, and teleporting would look…….strange. And second, you're sitting in the back seat because I said you had to."

"That's not fair…" Tart mumbled.

"Shut up. You're so skinny, I could've been forced to stuff you in a carseat by law, but

I'm nice."

"I'll be good." Tart said quietly.

"Are you sure you know how to drive this thing? Can I drive?"

"If I can drive a spaceship, I can drive this hunk of metal humans call a 'car'. Besides, you're fourteen; you're too young to have a human license."

"Do you _have_ a license?"

"Maybe…."

* * *

Chocolate Pudding-chan: Sorry it's such a short first chapter, but my hands are tired. I just typed the last chapter to my other story "Aardvarks", and an UBER-long report about black bears for school. I promise, I'll try to update sometime this week! Bye for now! 


	2. Dang MacDonald!

Chocolate Pudding-chan: Here comes the next chappie. But you knew that. Didn't you?

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"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH, Old MacDonald had a farm, ee-ei-ee-ei-oh! And on this farm he had a…a….." Tart paused to think.

"…..A giraffe, ee-ei-ee-ei-OW!" Kish slapped a hand over Tart's mouth.

"NO MORE! Sing one more verse and I'll scream!"

"Um, you're sorta screaming already…."

"Then I'll scream louder." Kish felt as though his eardrums were going to burst. Tart had been singing "Old MacDonald had a farm" for 2 hours and 45 minutes. STRAIT.

"Kisshu's right" Pai said; clamping one hand over Tart's mouth to keep him from speaking. "I about lost it after This 'MacDonald' person had a platypus."

"Pai, shouldn't you um, keep both hands on the wheel?"

"Relax Kish. You usually don't act this way. What's gotten into you?"

"I don't know. I guess I just have this uneasy feeling about us having to drive all the way to this 'Canada' place.

"Kisshu." Tart said, trying to reassure his friend. "I get uneasy feelings a lot, but then I feel better, 'cause a few hours later I realize that it was just gas. Have you eaten a lot of dairy lately?"

"Trust me Tart, if it was gas, you'd know."

"Speaking of which, Pai, where are we going?"

"Canada."

"Are we there yet?"

"NO! We're not even close!"

"How 'bout now? Are we there yet now?"

"Of course not! You just asked that 2 seconds ago!"

"Are we there yet?"

"NO!"

"Are we there _yet_?"

"NO!!!! Now quit saying that!"

"Tey ereht ew era?"

"What?!"

"It's 'Are we there yet' backwards. You told me not to say 'Are we there yet?', so I said 'Tey ereht ew era'."

"Ugh…."

"Hey Pai?"

"What now Taruto?"

"I gotta pee."

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Chocolate Pudding-chan: All done with this chappie. I hope I can update by tomorrow, but there are no guarantees. Please review! 


	3. Bathroom problems

Chocolate Pudding-chan: Yay next chappie.

* * *

Pai and Kish groaned in unison.

"Tart! Can't you hold it?!"

"NO! I've been holding it since Old MacDonald had a hippo!"

"Listen, I promised I get 500 KM by noon, can't you hold it a little longer?"

" I CAN'T!!!"

"Just a little while?"

"Okay. If you want wet seats, that's not my problem."

"Fine! I'll pull over, but you better be out in five minutes or I'll strangle you!

"Thank you!!!"

Pai pulled their rental car over to the rest stop and Tart burst out of the car and race to the men's room.

_30 minutes later_

"ALRIGHT! Half an hour is LONG enough! Kish go get him."

"Why me?"

"Because if you don't, I'll let Tart drive."

"GOING!"

Kish walked in the restroom, which was now empty. "Hello?" he asked timidly. "Tart? You in here?"

A moan came from inside one of the stalls.

"H-hello?"

"Mmm, help…."

"I'm hearing voices.." Kish muttered "AND THEY'RE NOT THE ONES I USUALLY HEAR!"

"Kisshu…..help…"

"Tart? Is that you?"

Kish opened the door to the stall the moans were coming from, only to see poor Tart completely wrapped up in toilet paper with his arm jammed up in one of the toilet paper dispensers.

"OMIGOD! What the heck happened to you?!"

"Britney Spears…..giant tortoises…. THE FUR-REAL KITTENS WERE EVERYWHERE, MAN!!! EVERYWHERE!!!!!"

Tart burst into tears as Kish unwrapped the toilet paper.

"C'mon kiddo, let's get you out of here…" Kish muttered, dragging poor Tart back to the car. He plopped him down in the back seat, and then climbed in next to Pai. Tart's eye was still twitching.

"What happened Tart?"

"I don't know. He said something about someone named "Britney Spears".

"Britney Spears? Ouch." Pai flinched.

"The weird thing is, he won't talk at all."

"This could be good…." Pai said, starting up the car.

"WAIT!"

"What is it Kish?"

"Pai? I sorta have to pee…"

* * *

Choclate Pudding-chan:Poor, poor Tart. 


	4. Popsicle returns!

Chocolate Pudding-chan: Hey everybody! I'm gonna be out of town this weekend, so this will be the last update for a couple of days

A little note: This chapter mentions an unknown species a pet that belongs to Tart, which he has subbed "Popsicle" Before reading this chapter, I STRONGLY recommended you read of her origins by reading the chapter entitled "Pet Problems" in my last story, "Aardvarks." Thanks for reading!

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Pai glared at Kisshu. "You're. Going. To. HOLD IT." He hissed, completely out of patience.

"Okay." Kish squeaked, this hold ordeal was making him nervous. Why was Tart so silent? Why had he been almost mummified in toilet paper? Who _was_ this Britney Spears?

But suddenly, he hears a noise. It sounded like something gnawing on metal.

"What's that?" he asked Pai "Can't you hear that?"

"Yeah..." Pai murmured. "I can hear it. Tart, what are you doing back there?"

"Nothing." Tart whispered.

"_Tart._" Tart bit his lip. He knew better than to try to argue with Pai when he used his "I-know-you-doing-something-you-shouldn't-be-so-you-better-tell-me-_right now_" voice.

"Popsicle's a teensy bit hungry."

Kisshu couldn't believe his ears. POPSICLE?! Tart had actually brought that freakish long-tail-winged-antennae-ed-purple-vampire-rabbit-thing he called a pet IN THE SAME CAR WITH HIM??!!

"You brought _POPSICLE?!_"

"Calm down Kish, you can't blame him." Pai said.

"AND JUST WHY NOT?!" Kish was now close to exploding. He was already upset with this whole "Undercover driving" mission, and this just made matters worse. Popsicle despised Kish with such intensity that she had actually attempted to eat various parts of his body numerous times.

"I told Tart he could bring her."

"Are you insane?! She'll eat us all!"

"Relax, Kish. She might not like you, but she loves Tart, and for some odd reason she goes berserk when he leaves her alone. With all of us gone, she would most likely devour the whole ship."

"Oh." Kish realized that this day probably couldn't get much worse, and that he would just have to deal with it.

Popsicle continued to gnaw.

"She doesn't like the pet carrier." Tart explained. "She doesn't like car rides much either. Plus I think she might be a little hungry, she only ate three ham sammiches for breakfast this morning." Then Tart decided to randomly change the subject. (As he liked to do often) "Where is this 'Canada' place at, Pai?"

"In North America. But I suppose you don't know much about earth geography."

"Ooh, yea I do!" Kish noticed that Tart was magically back to his noisy old self. But then again, Tart's high metabolism and low attention span couldn't keep him quiet for long.

"I like geography! It's full of shapes and stuff!"

Pai sighed. He should've known better than to try to use big words with Tart.

"That's _geometry_ Tart."

"Oh. Then geography must be the one with all the pretty rocks in it! Does Canada have rocks?"

"That's Geology. Geology is the one with the 'Pretty rocks'."

"Geography, geometry, geology, what's the big difference, they all start with J!"

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Chocolate Pudding-chan: Just a little note; the 'J' quote was inspired by "The Fairly Odd Parents" (Which, extra disclaimer, I do not own at all!) Have a nice weekend everyone! 


	5. Strange Hair

Chocolate Pudding-chan: Hi everyone! This is probably the only chapter this week, so enjoy it!

* * *

Pai gripped the wheel so hard there were fingernail marks on it.

"You know what, Pai?" Tart asked.

"What?!" Pai growled, He had had it up to there with Taruto.

"You should cut your hair."

"Where did that come from?!"

"I just think that you said we should try to blend in as much as possible, and you have weird hair."

"My hair is no stranger than yours or Kisshu's."

"Yes it is. We can let our hair down, Pai. Down like manes; manes of ponies. There's nothing strange about that."

"Uh, I beg to differ." _"Who do they think they are? _Pai thought to himself_ "But I guess if Tart took his hair down he'd look pretty normal. And Kish could pull of that 'Punk Rock' look….."_

"How do you know any earth barbers anyway?"

"Well you see," Tart began "I knew this guy named Chuck, and Chuck's wife's had a sister and the sister's second cousin was married to a guy named Al, and Al and I go _way back_…" Tart chuckled to himself "Anyway, Al's cousin Luanne works there."

"Huh?" Even Pai couldn't understand half of what Tart had meant.

"Just trust me on this Pai! It'll work!"

"No it won't. Last time I trusted you.." Pai shuddered at the memory "…..bad things happened."

"Just this once?"

"No."

"Please?"

"NO!"

"Just give it up, Tart." Kish cut in "Pai's never gonna trust you."

"I'll let Popsicle out of her cage." Tart threatened in a sing-song voice.

"PULL OVER!"

Pai swerved the car into the parking lot of the shop. A sign on the front said "Koko's Fabu Hair Do's"

"Ew…" Pai moaned. "Now listen," Pai turned to Kish and Tart "I will cut my hair this once, but after this is all over, I'm growing it out again." "_I can't believe I gave in so easily…._" Pai grimaced as he stepped through the door.

_20 minutes and a lot of snipping later_

Pai stared at him self in the mirror.

"Oh," Kish began

"My," Tart continued

"GAWD!" They finished at the same time.

"I feel like and idiot!" Pai moaned.

"You look like an idiot." Kish added.

"You look like Paul McCartney and a basket a plums had a baby." Tart finished.

"Thanks, Taruto. You're so reassuring." Pai said flatly.

"I know!" Tart said smiling.

"Tart! I'm never trusting you again for the rest of my life!"

"Don't worry, Pai! This'll work out! I mean, you'd totally fit in with the Beatles if they all fell in grape juice!" Tart smiled.

Pai sighed. Tart was just trying to help, though he was doing quite a suckish job at it.

"Don't worry." Tart repeated, placing one hand on his older friend's shoulder. "This will all be fine, just trust me!"

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Chocolate Pudding-chan: Thanks for reading! Have a nice week. 


	6. Motel of Doom!

Chocolate Pudding-chan: Okay, I lied a little. Here comes a new chapter!

* * *

Pai was now gripping the steering wheel so hard that the fingernail marks had their own fingernail marks.

"_I can't believe I let this happen! I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! As soon as I stop this car, I'm gonna hit that brat so hard he'll regret ever meeting me!"_

While Pai was having angry thoughts, the rest of the car was in a somber silence.

Kish was biting his lip. He was afraid _for_ Tart. Pai was gonna wail on him! Kish could tell that Tart knew he'd done something bad. When Tart was really upset, he had this "Wilted flower" sort of look. He'd take his pigtails out, curl up in sort of a ball, and his large ears would droop.

"I'm sorry." Tart squeaked out. Pai had yelled at him so much before they had gotten back into the car, his ears hurt.

"Shut. Up." Pai hissed threw gritted teeth.

Tart just sort of whimpered then. Popsicle whimpered too, knowing something must be wrong with her master.

"Hey," Kish began, trying to break the silence. "It's getting sort of late, why don't we stop?"

"Stop where?" Pai asked.

"Like, at a motel or something. You can't drive all night, you know."

"I bet I can."

"It just seems a little dangerous. I mean, what if you fall asleep at hte wheel, or--"

"Fine! We'll stop!" Pai shouted.

Pai sighed. He'd seen this coming, Kish had been such a worrywart lately.

"Fine." he reapeated, regaining his composure "We will stop for the night, but get right back on the road tomorrow, understand?"

"Yes."

Tart said nothing, just nodded quietly.

_A few minutes later_

Pai slowly pulled the car into the parking lot of a building with a sign that read "Big Stop Motel"

"What a dumb name…" Kish mumbled as the three stepped out of the car.

Tart was scared. "Please don't hurt me!" he squealed.

Pai raised his fist.

Tart began to cry.

He lowered his hand "I'm not gonna hit you just yet."

"Y-you won't?"

"No. it would be undignified for me to hit you. But you'll be sorry someday."

Tart didn't know what that meant, but he forgot the whole thing as soon as he spotted a squirrel.

"Ooh! Look at the squirrely!"

Like I said. Short attention span.

"Come on, let's go." Pai was tired. All he wanted to do was sleep. The three walked up to the front desk. Pai went to get room keys, Kish sat in a chair, looking bored, and Tart tried to control Popsicle while she wriggled around in her pet carrier.

"Uh, Pai, you might want to hurry up. I think Popsicle has to use the tinkle-torium."

"The _what?_"

Popsicle made a whimperish noise and then scratched on the side of the cage.

"She's says she's been holding it from a really long time."

"Well, she's gonna have to hold it a little longer." Pai had had it. He wasn't letting Tart get away with anything until they got where they were going to. But then again, if Pai kept all his promises, life would be no fun. (Wink, wink)

"But she's got—"

"_No buts._"

After receiving the keys from the bell girl who was smacking her gum _much_ too loudly and wearing a name tag that read "Catalina", the three, (Along with Popsicle) stepped into their room for the night.

"Oh, CRAP!" Kish cried.

Pai banged his head against the door.

"I think Popsicle didn't make it in time." Tart remarked.

Popsicle cried in her now wet pet carrier.

Of course, Tart was completely off-subject, but what may you ask caused such a bad reaction?

Well, as soon as they had stepped into the room, they noticed that there happened to only be two beds.

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Chocolate Pudding-chan: Mm, sort of a cliffy, eh? Well, you'll see what happens soon! I've got no classes tomorrow, so I have a little more time on my hands. I'll probably post another chapter sometime by Monday or Tuesday. Have a good weekend! 


	7. The Monster!

Chocolate Pudding-chan: Hey everyone! I bet you all are waiting to see what our three favorite aliens are going to do about there sticky sleeping situation. Enjoy!

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"Poor Popsicle!" Tart reached into the cage and grabbed his wet pet. "Pai! You should've let her pee!"

"Would you be quiet?! Just give the thing a bath!"

"She doesn't like going to bed all wet and soapy!"

"Than blow-dry the stupid little monster!" Kish hissed.

This made Tart angry. "POPSICLE IS NOT STUPID!" Tart was on the verge of tears again. He was tired of everybody yelling at him. "YOU'RE STUPID!"

Tart carried Popsicle off to the small bathroom in a huff, leaving Kisshu and Pai to deal with the bedding problem.

"Leave him." Pai said. "He's not in a good mood, and you know how he gets."

Pai paused.

"Anyway, Tart's the smallest, so one of us will have to sleep with him." Pai winced at his own idea.

"Not me!" Kish said. There was no way he'd go through with this.

"Well, since I'm the tallest, I think you should. Besides, I've suffered enough today!"

"But Pai—"

"Listen Kish. Just do this one thing for me, and I promise I'll pay you back somehow."

Kish thought about this. He _did _feel sorry for Pai, after all that had happened that day.

"Well….alright. But if we stop and this happens again, you're gonna do it."

Pai grimaced. "Okay." He reluctantly agreed.

Tart came out of the bathroom with a fluffy, blow-dried Popsicle.

"Tart you're sleeping with Kish." Pai said right off the bat.

Kish just groaned. "C'mon, let's just get this over with."

Pai crawled into his uncomfortable mat the motel called a bed, and flicked off the lights.

"Goodnight, you two. I expect you up early." Pai said.

"Whatever." Kish mumbled.

Tart climbed into bed next to him. He plopped Popsicle by his side, and pulled the covers over his side.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who said I had to sleep with that thing?!"

Tart looked up at Kish. Popsicle crawled onto Tart's lap.

"Kisshu, I promised I'll keep her quiet if you promise not to be mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you. I'm just in a bad mood. I hate this whole dumb mission, and I hate Pai for dragging us along to do it."

Luckily for Kish, Pai was sound asleep by then and couldn't hear him.

"And Kish?"

"What?"

"I'll make Popsicle sit on you if you don't apologize to her."

"WHAT?! Why should I apologize to her?"

"You hurt her feelings before, when you said she was stupid."

"Oh. Well, I'm sorry then, as long as you won't try to eat me."

Popsicle mumbled something that Kish couldn't understand.

"She says she's sorry for trying to eat your ear that one time."

"Okay. Goodnight, Tart."

"WAIT!"

"What now, Tart?"

"I'm sorry I said you were stupid. I was just upset about Popsicle's wet carrier."

"It's alright. Now go to sleep, Taruto."

"G'night Kish."

It was quiet for awhile after that, until a loud, snorting sort of noise broke the silence.

Tart was the lightest sleeper among all of them, so he was the first to spring up in bed.

"What was that?" He whispered to Popsicle, hugging her to his chest.

"Kish." He nudged his friend. "KISH!" He whispered loudly.

"What is it?" Kish mumbled groggily.

"Do you hear that?"

"What?"

Kish had barely finished speaking when the loud noise erupted from the other side of the room. Then it sort of continued a little softer, but in a continued in a steady stream of noise.

"It's growling at us! IT'S A MONSTER!" Tart said, clinging to Kish's arm.

"Shh!" Kish hushed him "It's coming from over there."

"The monster's gonna eat Pai!"

"I think I know what to do." Kish whispered. "But I'll need Popsicle's help."

Tart didn't have a chance to ask why before Kish grabbed Popsicle and flung her across the room in the direction of the noise.

There was a loud scream, than the light came on. Kish and Tart could now see that Popsicle was pawing at Pai's head.

"GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!!!" Pai screamed.

Tart whistled than called out, "Popsicle! Come here!"

Popsicle jumped off of what was left (HA!) of Pai's hair and onto Tart's head. Then she just sat.

"Good girl! You scared the monster away! Or maybe it was the light. Or Pai's screaming…"

"What in the world were you two thinking?!"

"There was a growling monster under your bed, so Kish threw Popsicle at it." Tart explained.

"Growling monster? Oh…." Pai finally realized what had happened. "Just ignore that." He sighed. "I'll go sleep in the bathroom. Kish can have my bed."

"YES!" Kish jumped into the bed. "Hold on! Is this a setup?"

"No, I'll explain it later, now just go to sleep."

"Fine with me." said Kish. He was starting to like this "Monster", as long is it got him his own bed!

Pai walked into the bathroom and closed the door. _"Dang sinus problems!"_

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Chocolate Pudding-chan: Haha! I bet most of you have guessed what the "Growling" was. If you didn't, think about it, it's not that hard. I don't think I'll get another chapter in until Monday or so, because I always write on Saturday nights, but I'll be at a concert and won't be home 'till late. Sorry! Have a good weekend everybody! 


	8. Mouth to Mouth Hotdogs!

Chocolate Pudding-chan: HI! I'm back from the dead with a new chappeh!

* * *

Kisshu's eyes blinked opened few times before he realized where he was. The last thing he could remember was eating that weenie-shaped object that Tart said was a "Hot dog", and then everything had gone black. Who's dumb idea was it to have a hot dog for breakfast anyway?

"KISSHU! YOU'RE ALIVE!" Tart screamed right in his face.

"Oy…" Pai muttered his forehead in his hand. Kish then realized they were still in the tacky hotel room they'd been in before.

"I'm alive? What the heck happened, anyway?" he said, sitting up from his spot on the floor.

"You choked on a hot dog." Tart said simply.

"I TOLD YOU THAT WEENIE WAS EVIL!" Kish shouted "Oh, and thanks, Pai."

"I didn't save you. Tart did."

"Okay…Since when do _you_ know the Heimlich?"

"Weeellllll…" He dragged out the word. "I tried the Heimlich, but after a few times it wasn't working so I was getting worried but then I figured I had to—"

"EW!" Kish cried, rubbing his tongue "TART!"

"It was just mouth-to-mouth."

"OH EEEWW…" Kish wailed. After regaining his composure, he turned to Tart.

"So, let me get this strait, you wasted your fist kiss getting a hot dog out of me?!"

"No!" Tart said. Kish stared at him. HOW WAS HE TAKING THIS SO SIMPLY?!

"No!" Tart began again "It's just CPR. Besides, it wouldn't have been my first kiss anyway."

This little fact probably upset Kish more than the fact that _their_ lips had been touching.

"Who the heck would kiss _you_?!"

"No-one…" Tart said, blushing.

"_Tart_."

"NO-ONE!" He said more defensively.

"Ick..." Kish muttered. "Well, you better be happy that I was unconscious…."

"Okay!" Tart smiled. "We gonna leave soon, Pai?"

"Yes." Pai replied. "We're leaving right now."

And then Pai did something almost nobody had ever seen. Just out of the blue.

He smiled. And then he began to laugh.

Kish and Tart looked up him, Tart with his mouth wide open.

Pai continued laughing and looked at Kish. "K-Kish?" He sputtered through laughter.

"What?" Kish asked, now afraid.

"YOU'RE AN IDIOT!" He said laughing again. "And you." He pointed to Tart.

"YOU'RE TOTALLY CLUELESS!" Pai couldn't even stand up anymore, and was on his back on the floor.

"Someone's been to Crazy-town…" Tart muttered.

"BWAHAHAHAH!" Pai was now twitching.

"I take it back." Tart said. "He's the MAYOR of Crazy-town!"

Kish and Tart just watched their older comrade for a minute, not having a clue what to do. (Or rather, not having a clue what the heck was _wrong _with him.)

"Okay, okay." Pai said regaining his composure. "Let's leave."

The three walked silently back to the car, while Pai was chuckling to himself, and muttering "I'm _surrounded_ by idiots…."

"Tart?" Kish asked, as they walked through the building's revolving door.

"Yeah?" Tart replied.

"I think it would've been better if you had let me choke."

* * *

Chocolate Pudding-chan: Thanks for waiting so long you guys! School's been a killer, and I haven't even been able to touch Microsoft Word lately. I don't know when I'll be able to post another chapter again, but I promise I'll try not to take to long. Have a nice weekend everyone! 


	9. Bumpy Roads!

Chocolate Pudding-chan: I'm so sorry! I've been a lazy-butt and haven't updated! But now I will, so new chappie comin' your way!

* * *

After their little crazed-laughter incident, the next few hours of driving actually seemed to pass quite peacefully. Quite, until they turn off the highway and onto and back road.

"Where are we goin'?" Kish asked, just out of curiosity, they had been on the interstate ever since the trip had begun.

"A little detour I saw on the map. It'll get us there quicker." Pai replied "_And the quicker this episode is done, the better….." _He thought, regretting the laugh-attack he'd had this morning.

And things were peaceful even then, until they came to a part of the road that hadn't been re-paved in quite a while, making it extremely bumpy, which, in turn, caused the car to violently vibrate back and forth.

"G-g-guys? W-what's goin' on-n-n….." Tart said, holding on to the middle of the back seat.

"It's j-j-just for a little w-w-while, unt-t-il we g-get back on-n the h-h-h-highway." Pai said, his own voice shaken by the bumpy road.

Kisshu could tell this was making Tart very uncomfortable, but he didn't wasn't to disturb Pai, after these past few days, who knows what may happen. He would regret that soon, though.

"Oh……" He heard a moan from the back seat."

"You g-g-guys? I feel a little—"

But Taruto never finished that sentence. Kish became wide-eyed as he saw the scene, the green-faced ten-year-old suddenly exploded in a disgusting river of….

…..well, breakfast.

"OH, EW!!!!!" Kish wretched at the now vomit-covered back of his seat. "PAI!"

"I know!" Pai said, wincing at the smell.

Kish plugged his nose, responding, "Man, Taruto! Whatd'd you eat?"

"Oh…." Was all Tart could get out. "I guess I shoulda told you, I get a little..…carsick sometimes."

Pai pulled over. Kish was still choking.

"I'm so sorry!" Tart wailed "It wasn't my fault! I—"

"No." was all Pai could get out.

"Really, Pai! I can clean i—"

"No."

"Man, can we crack a window or somethin'? I'm dying here!" Kish said.

Pai said nothing. It was done. The car was obviously done-in, _he_ would be the one to pay for it, even though he had almost no earth-money left, so he just stared strait ahead.

"Pai?"

It was done. So he shouted the first thing that came to his mind.

"DAMMIT!"

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Chocolate Pudding-chan: Hope you liked this chappie. I love you all, by the way, all you awesome reviewers! Here's a little challenge: I already know what the next chappie is All I have to do is type it up and upload it, and I'll do just that if I get FIVE reviews. That's all. Heck, even if I don't, I'll probably just do it next weekend XD

Sayonara!


	10. Possum Trouble!

Chocolate Pudding-chan: Hey readers! Thanks for the reviews! (Especially Zovesta, who has put in four at this point!)

* * *

"Whoa….." was all Kish could say after his friend's sudden outburst.

"Okay," Pai began, "I doubt any of you want to ride in this stink-van, am I right?"

"Yeah, I can't take this anymore." Kish moaned.

"Then I can think of three options. One: We give up."

"I like that one!" Tart said.

" Stay out of this! Two: We walk. Or three, we take the large transportation device the humans call: 'the bus'."

"Ooooh." Tart said, clearly amazed by the thought.

"Unfortunately, we're a long way until the next bus station, so we'll have to walk until we reach one."

And so began the long trudge until they reached the highway. Sometime in mid-afternoon, Tart made an amazing discovery. (Or so he thought.)

"Look guys! A possum!"

They all hovered over the roadkill, with tire tracks clear across its whole body.

"Aw, look at the possum." Tart said, completely blind to the fact it had been dead for quite some time.

"Um, it's kinda dead……" Kish pointed out.

"D-dead?" Tart stuttered, tearing up.

"Oh, no…." Pai whispered; he could see where this was going.

"DEAD?! THAT'S HORRIBLE!"

"Oh, geez!"

"We should give it a proper funeral!"

"Okay, first of all, roadkills don't get funerals. And second, since when have you been interested in the well-being of earth-animals anyway?!"

"Since I watched Animal Planet that one time. Now he gets a funeral or I stay _right here_, and you'll just have to go to Canada without me."

"Okay then."

"Works for me."

"NO! Wait guys! I was being sarcastic! GUYS?!"

"Alright, alright, we'll give it a stinkin' funeral, but I want no more interruptions until we reach our destination! Understand?"

"Okay…" Taruto agreed, picking up the dead thing.

"Oh, I'm gonna barf…" Kiah winced.

"Don't. You. Dare." Pai hissed, he'd had quite enough throw-up for one day.

So they proceeded in putting the possum, or "opossum" as Pai had corrected, into a hole on the side of the road that had been dug by who-knows-what.

Pai, you're the oldest, you be the minister." Tart said simply.

Pai sighed. "Alright then." So, he made up a strange speech that was complied of all he knew about human rituals.

"Um….. Dearly Beloved……" he began awkwardly, "We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of this…..earth-opossum-thing."

"HIS NAMED WAS GERALD!" Tart sobbed.

"Okay then, _Gerald_ the earth-opossum. We do not know of any descendents left by…erm…Gerald."

"He had three kids!" Tart cut in again from nowhere, which caused Kisshu to be skeptical.

"How do you know this?!"

"Gerald told me." Tart said simply.

"He's DEAD!"

"Well, duh!" Tart argued.

Kish decided he was done arguing with this idiot and thought maybe if he was quiet these things might not happen to him again.

"Gerald has left behind three children, and seems to have been hit by a……"

Pai nudged the animal with his foot, trying to take a better look at it.

"…..a Ford Explorer of some kind, and will be surely missed. Now bury that thing before _I _throw up." Pai finished, as Tart kicked some dirt over the body.

They were all about to leave, when Pai happened to notice that the possum's head was sticking out of the ground.

"Tart! I told you to bury him! Why's the head sticking out?!"

"I thought he might need some air!"

"They won't need air where you're going…" Kish muttered.

"Tart, the opossum is _dead_, therefore he doesn't need any air."

"He's _DEAD?!_ That's _HORRIBLE!_"

* * *

Chocolate Pudding-chan: I think we can all agree at this point that Taruto is pretty hopeless.

Might not update 'til next weekend; I'm a busy girl! A busy girl who has midterms this week TT


	11. MUTINY!

Chocolate Pudding-chan: I'm am so sorry this took so long! But the idea for "For the Love of Pig" came, and I just had to finish! By the way, I would totally love you forever if you read it for me as a favor! Now, please enjoy the final chapter of "Roadtrip of Doom"!

* * *

After attempting to find a gas station, burying roadkill, and making several "Pit stops" in the bushes, the three had barely gotten 500 feet form their car. I fact, they could still see it, sitting by the side of the road.

Pai was exasperated with everything.

Kisshu was fed up with this whole mission.

Taruto had to pee again.

"Uh, guys?" he said, which his friends had figured out exactly what that meant by now.

"What have you been drinking?!" Ksih asked.

"Stuff."

"Fine. Go. Now." Pai muttered, plopping down in the grass.

Kish sat down next to him.

"Pai, I really think we should give this up."

"No! We have….to complete…..the mission….."

"I think you're starting to lose it."

"I never thought I'd say this, but I think you may be right."

"Let's go home, please? We're never going to make it to this "Canada" place in time for whatever we're supposed to be there for! WE'RE STILL IN JAPAN, FOR CHINCHILLA'S SAKES!"

"Chinchilla?"

"I think I'm losing it too. I'm even starting to hear things." Kish commented, after hearing a huge whooshing sound.

"Wait, I hear it too…" Pai murmured, as it got louder.

"Hey guys! What's that weird noise?" Tart said, coming out of the woods after peeing for probably the third time that hour.

They all looked up, only to see a flaming meteor soaring strait at them.

"Oh my Gawd!"

Tart shouted.

His friends stared, as he finished:

"I think I left the water running at home!"

There was then an enormous explosion, and after a few minutes of nothing but smoke, the three stood in what was now a clearing, all covered in ashes. One of Tart's pigtails was on fire. He licked his fingers and put out the small flames.

And they just stood silently for awhile, still shaken from the random explosion.

And then, as if planned, their leader appeared.

But for once in his life, Pai didn't want to be a follower anymore. He did not bow. He was done.

After an embarrassing haircut, a crazy peeing mutant pet, a snoring problem, being a justice of the peace, surviving a meteor explosion, and surviving Taruto, he was done.

"Listen to me." The dark leader started. "I know things have not gone as planned, but—"

"No." this was the first time Pai had ever backsassed his superior.

"Y-y-you listen t-to me!" he stuttered.

"He's gonna blow….."Kish whispered.

"I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! After suffering through this hell of a mission, this stupid haircut, that stupid opossum—"

"Gerald." Tart said quietly, luckily Pai didn't hear him.

"And being cooped up for days with that _thing_," he pointed a stiff finger at Taruto, who, of course, had stopped paying attention and was now carefully studying a dandelion.

"I'm DONE! I QUIT!" he turned to his friends.

"MEN, and Tart." he began dramatically. "WHO'S WITH ME, EH?!"

Kish knew his friend had completely lost his mind, but it was a way to get out of this mission. But maybe he HADN'T lost it. Maybe, for once in his life, Pai had realized that a glowing orb was not in complete control of his life.

"I'm with ya, man! AYE!" Kish shouted.

"MUTINY!" Tart randomly shouted himself. Everyone stared.

"What? I've always wanted to say that."

"Guys," Pai said at last, "It's time to go home."

_Home._

And home's just where they went.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

As they stood in the kitchen of the ship, Pai regained his composure once more.

"Well," he said, "I suppose it can't be much worse, right?"

"Yeah…." Kish said. He was happy this whole thing had finally ended.

"Yuppers!" Tart cut in.

But, as they walked down the hall to go to their own rooms at last, they noticed a flood of water coming from behind the bathroom door. Then, Tart reminded them:

"I KNEW IT!"

* * *

Chocolate Pudding-chan: Well, now it is done. I thank all my great reviewers for being so supportive. Please continue reading and reviewing! I love you all! Tart's gonna need a mop! 


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